I would have added some more detail on the four stages of cognitive development as according to Piaget. Also a more detailed outline of Flavell’s (1990) perspective –taking research.

For Zygotsky how about more detail on his ‘zone of proximal development’.

C grade as it stands!

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Good stuff, this is much better than the first draft. Make sure you keep the organisation of it tight. I hope you get this back in time – I guess your exam is soon. Good luck with it, you’ve got lots of good material.

Your main points and mentioned research have relevancy and score points at AO2 level.

Some mention of Psychology’s 1st, 2nd and 3rd worlds - Moghaddam and Studer 1997, some questioning as to the term ‘culture’ - Triandis 1994 and some discussion of the advantages of cross-cultural research - Rogoff & Morelli 1989 and - Brislin 1993 all would help to add depth to the very good discussion.

- What about the six sub-stages of the sensorimotor stage in Piagets stages?
- Criticism of Piaget's claims of the sensorimotor stage by Bower & Wishart (1972) could be worth a mention.
- It would also add depth to your study if you outlined one of Piagets tests for any of the stages.

Some discussion of how both theories have contributed to our understanding of the education of young children would be useful.

The comparison you have outlined is competent and just needs a little embellishing to broaden the scope.

Grade C - as it is!

Quite a thorough explanation of two theories on the origins of prejudice.

For the FAH approach mention Dollards work (1939) and how he draws on Freudian theory and Hovland & Sears (1940) work on the lynching of blacks In the U.S.

For the conflict theory you have rightly mentioned Sherif - what about Aronson's (1992) jigsaw classroom technique involving mutual interdependence in the classroom reducing conflict ?

Your general introduction was fine and with additions this could achieve a grade B.

The introduction is very good !
On personality we need more detail : how about something on Type C (Temoshok 1987) , Types D + ER (Burne 1999).

On Culture we could add something about hypertension in African/Americans (Cooper 1999).

The Johansson study is a very useful one to highlight.
Can you get hold of any statistics for the workplace stress you quite rightly mention.

A good level of writing that just needs some additional detail.
Presently in the region of grade C.

In paragraph one it would be helpful if you gave one or two more definitions of personality to widen the conceptual base.
In paragraph two some more details on types B and C personalities would give the reader more information.
Is there any research worth mentioning on the relationship between extroversion and introversion and stress?
You have stated your aim clearly.
I am not sure that I understand the format of your last 4 paragraphs? Please clarify this!

Generally, you express yourself clearly and in an appropriately academic tone. I can point out a few errors in your work which hopefully will benefit you in any future work you upload.

1. In modern society appearance tend [s] to be very important (agreement of subject and verb)
2. Much [Many] people feel insecure ('Much' for non-count nouns; 'many' for count nouns - 'much information'/'many cars')
3. intolerant of any deviation of [from] this ideal image
4. Plastic surgery gives the impression that looks are more important in real live than it actually is [that they really are]. (agreement of subject and verb)
5. esthetic (aesthetic)

Hope this helps.

This really is excellent work. It's a very well constructed essay. It's detailed yet easy to read. The explanation of neurone communication is especially good.

A joy to read, well done!