This is potentially quite good. It could do with some serious editing, however. Try to cut out all that isn’t essential to make the story crisper. There seems to be quite a bit of repetition and you need to avoid trying to pack too much into one sentence. Also make sure that your pucntuation has more control. Some good writing and a good sesne of a real occasion conveyed.



Notes:

1. a man [,] or even a woman for that matter
2. Taking chances in life, living or may be not living the dreams they have dreamt of since the day they were born and entered into the confusing ways of life. [not a sentence]
3. may get unlucky the only way [may get unlucky. The only way]
4. Basketball captain [basketball captain]
5. Matt, he took [Matt. He took]

Quite an original perspective that works quite well. Try to organise the layout of your paragraphs a bit better – leave a line between each new paragraph for example. Also check for minor errors such as those below.

Notes:

1. Many mind wandered [My mind wandered?]

2. me, but if how? [ungrammatical here]

3. has been taken all over china. [China]

4. people came approached [approached Li]

5. time id be in use is hopefully [I’d]

This is quite focused and clear but you need to explore the theme in more detail and how it is dealt with at other stages of the play. R minor errors in punctuation and spelling but make sure that you don’t lift from websites or other forms of written material. It is easy to spot and it will mean that your work is likely to be failed. Otherwise, carry on with the approach you’re taking but aim for more depth of exploration and attention to detail. For example, what do we learn about love at the end of the play?


Notes:

1. True love and loyalty and loyalty are opposed (repetition)
2. of his daughters[‘] love
3. He hope to live with Coordelia He hopes/ Cordelia]
4. On kind nursery” [.] [On her kind nursery]
5. live without Lear[,] "I



“ Love in King Lear is present, let there be no mistake about that. Though a tragedy, and full of ugliness and cruelty, there is love. And that love is as much a part of the play as the plots, secret deals, and hidden ambitions. In fact, the love in Lear is part of what makes the cruelty so clear, for it gives us something to contrast it with. It gives us hope, and makes us wish for a happier ending, though we know that such wishes cannot and won't be fulfilled.”

This is taken from the following website:

http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/shakespeare_tragedies/109960/3

You must use your own words

This shows some depth of analysis but the analysis a bit hit and miss, patchy. You need to take a more systematic approach. What is Lear’s relationship with each of his daughters? Explain this daughter by daughter. If women are the driving force in the play, explain how this is shown with close reference to the play. Also check that you are expressing yourself clearly and precisely at all times.

Notes:

1. them [they] being the dominating forces
2. Ironical is the method [awkward expression]
3. arise [arouse] certain suspicions
4. and female sexual attention [from his daughters?]
5. behavior in the play [behaviour – yours is the US spelling]