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Effect of Temperature on the movement of pigment (anthocyanin) through cells membranes

It is difficult to judge some of this when I cannot see the actual results. In general, your explanations are not very clear. I would try reading this to someone who doesn't know what you've actually done in the experiment, and see if they understand it! I don't think they will. The introduction needs some work. There are some grammatical errors (you switch between singular and plural when referring to phosopholipids). A lot of the introduction is not relevant to this experiment - all you really need is the general structure of the membrane, the fact that it is fluid and the important role of the protein channels. Cholesterol has nothing to do with this experiment, for instance. In the last parargraph, you talk about light transmission without any explanation about how this relates to the experiment. Why no hypothesis? A lot of your 'interpretation' is just a detailed description of the results. This can be seen from a graph (in fact, that's the whole point of a graph!). It is very difficult to follow without looking at the graph. You need to simplify this description. I'm not really sure what you're doing - I assume that you're measuring the fluid around the beetroot with a colorimeter, but in that case an increase in transmission would mean that the solution was getting paler, whereas your account it would seem that, when you refer to an increase in transmission, the solution is getting darker (i.e. more leakage). Colorimeters also measure absorption - maybe that's what you measured? You see what I mean about this account being confusing - details of the method are really needed for clarity.Your evaluation is a bit superficial. Scientists evaluate RESULTS. I don't have your results, but is there anything about them that suggests that the method gave inaccurate results or was unreliable in some way. If so, you need to explain and suggest improvements. If not, then everything is fine and you don't need to suggest how possible mistakes may have occurred if the evidence is clear that they didn't!
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First chapter of a Novel

This is a good opening. It is quite well written. You have a good vocabulary and the writing flows quite fluently. Just check your tenses, as you seem to switch from past to present at times. Also, check the rules for punctuating dialogue – have a look at a novel and see how they do it. Interesting scenario. 


1.    It was a pleasant October morning in the Nepalese capital Kathmandu city.  Winter is knocking at the door and summer nearly gone.  This is the peak tourist season when you don’t get a ticket to Nepal if you have not booked it in advance. [you’re mixing tense past and present. Easier to write using the past tense – for example Winter was knocking...]


2.    She has been roaming aimlessly [She had been roaming]


3.    be suffering from serious hangover [a serious hangover]

4.    “Hello there”, new hobby?”
“Hello there,  new hobby?”


5.    “you mean you’re begging?!” [“You mean you’re begging?!”


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How is conflict and violence represented in romeo and juliet and the WW1 poems?


This is an excellent piece of work. You focus on the question well and you offer a detailed analysis, supported by well integrated and pertinent quotations. Your essay is well structured and well-written. There is some excellent linking between paragraphs, good grasp of literary devices and an awareness of historical context. Well done!


1, young soldiers going to war. [to go to war?]

2. the parents decision [the parents’ decision]


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Bend it like Beckham film reveiw


The content of this is good. It is very well presented and is well-structured.  The main thing you need to work on is writing more simply and preciesly. Sometimes your expression doesn’t quite come across clearly. Write a little more like you would say it -  that might help. Try to choose exactly the right word.




1.       Bend It Like Beckham  [for film titles either italicise or use inverted commas]

2.      by setting us into the central of a Sikh family in London that is demanding to class experience of life in a foreign country. [slightly awkward expression here – write more simply and precisely]

3.       She fantasizes of football stardom [about football stardom]

4.       of god to a maternity above [slightly awkward expression here]

5.       pass as a teenage tangent. [‘tangent’ not the right word here]


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Original Writing- The Island



This is an imaginative piece of writing and you use a good deal of descriptive writing. The events are a little hard to believe, and some of the amazing feats at the end seem to be achieved too easily. The ending seems a little rushed. Who saved you, for example, and where did they come from?






1.       sun implanted through [there is no such verb as ‘implanted’]

2.       coupon for next years catalogue [next year’s catalogue]

3.       in it's dark waters [its]


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Original Writing


This is very good. You have used language to great effect to create an eerie and tnese atmosphere. You use descriptive words very well and you don’t try to do to much with teh stroy. Good ending, leaving the reader in suspense.





1.       The light was staring to fade [starting]

2.       As I reached the end of the corridor[,] I froze

3.       The dank, green, lifeless ivy swept across the walls [good descriptive words here but don’t use too many – better to say:  The dank  ivy swept across the walls  - this has a more powerful effect.


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Great Expectations Essay b

This is a good first draft. In the Settings Section, try to say something a bit more specific about the actual words Dickens uses and what effect they have. Does a particular word or group of words make the setting frightening of gloomy for example. In the dialogue section, concentrate on where there is a conversation between two or more characters, this is what ‘dialogue’ refers to, rather than Pip telling his personal story. Also check for spelling and punctuation errors.


1.       part in great expectations [“Great Expectations” or italicise]

2.       The settings that Dickens decides are [chooses?]

3.       The souround atmosphere is [surrounding]

4.       Catastrophic[.] Pip is located at a graveyard gazing at his families[‘] tombs they had all died here is a quote to show that his

5.       Dialouge: [Dialogue]


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ucas personal statement

You say most of the right things here! I assume it was OU courses that you completed? You might need to make that clear in the first paragraph. In a couple of other places I have indicated the need for greater clarity or examples.
I have gone in for thorough revisions, improving the sentence structure, eliminating repetition and changing quite a lot of words and phrases. i have introduced paragraphing too.  I hope you like the revised version.
Good luck with your application.

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Crime and Englishness Essay

This is a confident piece of work. It is very well-written, clearly structured and very well referenced. You explore the topic in some depth, supporting your points with well-integrated quotations and textual references. Good level of analysis.

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deterioration of current account

You have a good understanding of the components of the accounts, and have identified several reasons why there might be a deterioration. I have made a small number of changes to your essay. I think it is worth a B rather than an A grade - say 14 marks out of 20. This is because you have neglected to mention a number of factors such as the effect of rapid income growth or the problems arising from the scrapping of a great deal of manufacturing capacity. I have covered these and other points below, and you might like to extract at least some of them and incorporate them into your essay.

The UK’s persistent trade/current account deficit has a number of causes, both short and long term. It should be noted that the scale of the deficit has been reduced since 2007; this is a reflection of six quarters of recession and declining consumer spending on imported goods and services.

A higher growth rate in the UK (before the credit crunch and recession after 2008) than that in our major trading partners (USA, EU, Japan) meant that the growth of imports exceeded the growth of exports (held back by low growth or recession elsewhere). In the UK there is a high propensity to buy imported goods and services, partly reflecting a tendency for consumers to prefer foreign produced output, and when real incomes are growing rapidly and there is an accompanying consumer boom (as seen up to 2008) there is invariably an acceleration of the volume of imports coming into the country. Part of this is caused by a lack of productive capacity of firms, particularly in the manufacturing sector (where the UK deficit is at its greatest) – manufacturing nowadays accounts for only 12% of UK GDP, and so when growth rates are high, if home producers have insufficient capacity to meet demand from consumers then imports will come in to satisfy the excess demand.

In some sectors there is evidence of poor price and non-price competitiveness of firms - cost levels and thus prices relative to international competitors are a measure of competitiveness, while non-price factors are also important. These include quality, design, reliability and after-sales service. The UK has suffered from declining comparative advantage in many areas - the advantages that countries have in producing certain goods and services change over time as technology alters and other countries exploit their economic resources and develop competing industries. UK manufacturing industry has suffered over the years from low cost production in newly Industrialising countries (particularly the BRIC countries) and from southern and eastern member states of the European Union. This trend has been particularly pronounced since the creation of the Single European Market after 1986, and the enlargement of the EU since 2004.

Often the current account deficit increases quite rapidly when the exchange rate is over-valued for a significant period of time - The strength of the pound until 2008 made life difficult for UK exporters in overseas markets. This is because a rise in the value of sterling leads to a rise in the foreign price of UK exported goods and services. When UK prices are higher, foreign consumers are less likely to buy our products. The high exchange rate also makes imported goods cheaper inside the UK. This leads to a rise in the volume of imports and a fall in the share of the UK market taken up by goods and services imported from overseas. This particularly affects the manufacturing sector, both in domestic and export markets

The rising trend UK current account deficit suggests that the UK is continually ‘living beyond its means’. It is, however, seldom regarded as a problem, and this is why it receives remarkably little coverage, either in the press or in parliament. The Balance of Payments automatically ‘balances’ in that credit and debit entries must add up to zero; so any current account deficit will be matched automatically by an equivalent surplus on the financial account. The latter is dominated by direct and portfolio investment and by short term financial flows, and the UK has experienced no difficulty in recent years in attracting capital inflows, though this is nowadays more difficult. In this sense, the current account deficit is not a problem. There are essentially three types of inward investment. Direct investment, including mergers and acquisitions, is in deficit. Portfolio investment (in bonds and equities) is broadly in balance. Hence the key financial mechanism has been 'other investment', which is made up largely of liquid and short term flows, including cash on deposit. This flooded into the UK on account of higher interest rates and booming property and financial markets, and could be seen as gains for UK banks and investment institutions at the expense of UK exporters. Such flows have, however, rather dried up following the credit crunch and the UK’s historically low interest rates.

The enormous trade surpluses and rising savings levels from the fast-growing Far Eastern countries and OPEC nations also have to find a home in the global economy and, until recently, the UK seems to have attracted a disproportionate share of this cash, as overseas investment flooded into London property, UK government bonds and bank accounts which offered a relatively high interest rate. The UK’s ability to attract hot money depended largely on the interest rate differential that kept UK rates at a higher level than those set in the USA, Japan and the eurozone.

The COMPOSITION of the UK’s deficit raises greater concern, because it highlights the relative weakness of the UK manufacturing sector. Uncompetitive manufacturing exports lead to job losses and the rundown of productive capacity, and thus exacerbates regional disparities. In the long run, if imports are increasingly taking over from domestic producers, this threatens economic growth, employment and living standards. The staggering size of the trade deficit in goods is symptomatic of a deeper lack of competitiveness of UK industrial sectors as they face up to the challenges and pressures of globalisation. The UK has undoubtedly built an impressive comparative advantage in many service industries, not least in business and financial services and also in cultural products  But manufacturing industry exports the majority of the output it generates and many service jobs depend on maintaining a healthy and successful manufacturing base. It should also be noted that our surplus in oil since the early 1980s is now running at a deficit, while there is a traditional deficit on food, drink and tobacco. The financial services surplus has shrunk on account of international banking turmoil.

I hope this is helpful.

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