It is very detailed but not fully focused on the question. You should start with an introduction interpreting the question, defining terms and justifying the approach that your essay takes. Then a series of paragraphs going through the topic in a logical sequence and finally a conclusion where you sum up. Concentrate as the question asks on the inner city and evaluate ( what worked well ,what didn't and why etc) the attempted soulutions. I hope that this helps.

This is a fabulous piece of work - lucky teacher you have! I added a few spelling changes and a few comments about where in USA has so much rain that plants couldn't grow. Also, I suggest that you use mm rather than inches - what about finding some rainfall figures for Amazonia and evenb England's wettest region the Lake District. I'm noy attaching the work because the file is so HUGE! Well done-it really is very good! Actually, I'd love to put it on my website at http://www.geographyphotos,com for teachers to show their classes!

Some interesting ideas but too much is opinion rather than clearly argued factual detail supported by examples. You make too many sweeping, one- sided general statements. Improve the essay by searching for detailed examples and try to balance the argument more.

Looking at the two chloropleth CHOROPLETH maps I have constructed for the areas where observations were made which is in the North of Seamer, there are no signs of expansion as no new houses have been or are in the process of being constructed. Although though some personal notes and observations that I made a few hoses that where for sale had been sold. A few people were also carrying out private development ? to their properties.
On the second chloropleth map constructed for the percentage of houses aged pre 1945+ for the village of Kilham in the west of the village, from the investigation results and observations made there seems to have been a high amount of substantial development leading to a growth of Kilham has generated 13 extra houses in the village. On the second chloropleth map constructed to show the percentage of housing with single garages, more houses in Kilham had single garages than the Village of Seamer. This maybe because Seamer is closer to the town of Scarborough.
After some personal research into bus services in the two villages Kilham has a extremely poor range of services, only one service could be fount and this didn’t function on a Friday, Monday or a Sunday, the bus only travelled twice through Kilham, this being once every 2 hours. Seamer how ever was totally different it had a vast range of bus services, one going to Leeds and York. I think this evidence can help support that Seamer has a vaster range of services, then the village of Kilham. Looking at the service survey results in Kilham it seems that most of the services recorded sell low-order goods. This could mean that Kilham is a commuter settlement due to its low percentage and types of services. This could affect the types of services and the service provision that Kilham has, also from the observations made of the housing and it types of garages, that could be a indicator of transport, Kilham had more houses with garages. If this is too be used as an indicator of whether people who live in the village, the reason for people in Kilham having more housing with garages is its location and again its provision of public transport. Kilham also used have 6 registered schools, it now only has 1.

Use the data more rather than making general statements about what seems to be the case – use percentages, proportions etc. Obviously, it I
is hard for me to be helpful without knowing the data or the study. What about showing this to your teacher?

Please see the comments that I have added to your work. I hope that these help.

This is a really good answer. In your introduction you could briefly explain and justify how you will be answering it. More examples and facts and figures would help – you are rather generalised- try to back up your point with examples, then sum up and move on. I’m not entirely convinced by your conclusion- you could take a slightly different tack as suggested above. Well done- you have the basis for a great answer but I do think that you can improve it further. What about some maps-calorie intake, pop growth etc?

What you have written is very clear, accurate and concise. I suggest that you start with an introduction explaining/justifying what the essay is about and end up with a conclusion summing up. It is impossible to know what your teacher expects you to produce for this piece of work. I would like to see a range of detailed case studies to explore the topic more fully. To me this is a summary rather than an essay.

I hope that this helps.

This is a good solid piece of work. I have made a few suggestions (click here) and think that it is worth you spending a bit more time on this to really make it excellent. At the moment I'd grade it as a topB/low A- but you could quite easily make it an A*. I hope that my comments help you.

A good solid summary of what was done with some explanation. You could be more explanatory about how and whay you did what you did. Discuss your sampling - how/why were the sites for data collection chosen. It would be good to include annotated copies of the data collection sheets that explain how/why you did it that way. Maps, again annotated would be good. Try to reflect on any problems that you encountered - any limitations to the data collection and how they could have been overcome. There are bound to be some possible improvements and able students are able to evaluate what they did and didn't achieve. At the moment it is still a little too descriptive rather than explanatory. There is a slight drift into Analaysis- isoline maps, Spearman's Rank and so on that I would suggest leaving to the nexy section. A very promising first attempt.

This is a good solid introduction that includes both relevant theory and locational detail. Your hypotheses are clear. My suggestions to improve it further are:

- include an annotated map of the CBD pointing out the significant features and places

- make clear links between theory and the location. What I mean is if the theory is correct what would you epect to find in different parts of the CBD. You could use some of your own knowledge of Wakefield combined with the language used in theories of urban models. For example, is there a zone in transition? Where is the very centre of the CBD- ofetn called the Peak Land Value Intersection or PLVI.

You could combine these two suggestions with some writing and the annotated map.

I did notice that you spelled diasadvantage incorrectly -only one 's'. This is a good effort and you show that you understand the main processes and terms used in the study of migration. I'm not so happy about your case study of Sweden. In both Sweden and UK as well as other MEDCs the population is ageing and this is not caused by migration but by general changes in population structure as people have smaller families and as life expectancy is increased. Migration could well be considered part of the solution to this. Already many doctors, teachers, nurses and so on are recruited from other countries to work in countries such as Britain. Perhaps you could also mention in your answer where many migrants to Britain have come from as well as where British people migrate (Australia for example). You could also include mention that as the European Union expands to take in more countries the degree of migration within Europe is very likely to increase. Every European citizen has the right to live and work any other EU country, So, overall this is a sound answer - except for the Sweden case study where it is untrue to suggest that all the young people are moving to Britain and that this is causing an ageing population in Sweden. I hope that these comments help.